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Jessica

“My younger brother passed away from a brain tumor. It will be actually be three years this February 9th so it’s still fairly fresh. My initial reaction, surprisingly…I went into a mental shock.

I didn’t feel anything. It was almost like I was numb to all emotions. I actually didn’t cry. And when I went and saw him, it was almost like I was having an out of body experience. And I remember thinking to myself, why am I not sad? I literally feel nothing.

I took on the role of ‘I need to do everything.’ I was in charge of a video montage of his photos with music. One of the things he and I had in common was music. I couldn’t find music [for the video]. I was so angry and frustrated. I was crying, just balling. All of the sudden, the TV got really loud. And it was a song by Carrie Underwood, ‘ll See You Again.’ I started listening to it, and it made me feel like my brother was there, saying ‘hey, it’s okay; everything is going to be fine.’ That was the song that I chose for him, and it worked out perfectly.”

~Jessica

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