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Grief is and grief is not…

Sometimes in our grief it can be challenging to navigate the expectations of others around us. We may feel pressured to “moved on” or hide our grief from others in fear of being judged. Maybe, even, someone gives you some well-meaning advice that actually makes you feel worse. We have put together the following chart to help you educate family and friends who may not understand what you are going through and as a way to validate your own grief experience. We hope these will help you see that you are “doing grief” the way that is right for you, and that it is ok to struggle, but we are always here to support you.

Grief is…

Grief is … a journey and can sometimes feel pretty messy.

Grief is … wanting to still say your person or pet’s name.

Grief is … having waves of emotion hit you at the strangest times.

Grief is … needing to give yourself a break now and then.

Grief is … asking for support.

Grief is … sometimes putting your needs first.

Grief is … an individual experience.

Grief is … finding what feels right for your journey.

Grief is … sometimes pretty trying.

Grief is … getting out of your comfort zone to find connections.

Grief is … sometimes dealing with the tough stuff.

Grief is … something that grows and changes as we do.

Grief is … normal.

Grief is … feeling foggy somedays.

Grief is … finding your new normal.

Grief is … allowing yourself to do what is right for you.

Grief is … a judgement free zone.

Grief is … taking time to remember your person or pet.

Grief is … learning it’s ok not to always feel ok.

Grief is not…

Grief is not … a liner set of stages to go through.

Grief is not … moving on and having to forget them.

Grief is not … just getting over your feelings.

Grief is not …always needing to just push through.

Grief is not … having to always do it by yourself.

Grief is not … ignoring your needs and hoping they will go away.

Grief is not … the same for everyone.

Grief is not … feeling the pressure to do things a certain way.

Grief is not … always hard. Somedays might feel more “normal” than others.

Grief is not … isolating yourself because no one understands.

Grief is not … ignoring it and hoping it will just go away.

Grief is not … something that just ends.

Grief is not … something you should have to hide from others.

Grief is not … judging yourself for feeling that way.

Grief is not … struggling to have to keep everything exactly as it was.

Grief is not … sticking to other people’s expectations.

Grief is not … on anyone else’s timeline.

Grief is not … putting their memory on a shelf and walking away from them.

Grief is not … always putting on a mask of happiness.

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