You’ve lost a loved one. This person may have been in your daily life or they may be someone you talked to on a frequent basis. When a person like this dies, the world seems to come to a screeching halt. You may look out your window and want to scream to the people passing by that they need to stop what they are doing and realize what’s happened. You may feel like you cannot do anything, sitting nearly paralyzed waiting for it to “get better” at any moment. It doesn’t go away and you cannot change what is happening around you.
How Can You Go On?
When grief becomes so powerful that you cannot see the way through the next hour let alone your life, take a step back. Sometimes, the best way to deal with grief is simply to become active. Start slowly by doing some of the more simpler things from your daily routine as you normally did. It is not easy to do. Putting on “real” clothes and heading out the door seems impossible. Cry your way through it if you have to. To work towards healing, you need to get back to your daily routine.
Why is this so important to the healing process? Even though you may need to change your routine, getting back to doing dishes, taking the kids to school, and living life is going to help you to feel better. The reason is simple. You have routines that feel comfortable to you. By performing those routines, you gain some of that comfort again. The result is that you feel as though you can keep going. As soon as you take one step forward, it becomes easier to take the second, third, and fourth step.
Focus in on grief as a healing process. It hurts right now, but getting back to doing what you have to do can actually help you. You can’t fix what’s happened, but you can learn to create a new routine.