For most, the New Year is an opportunity to plan new strategies for better and improved relationships, job initiatives and self-improvement. But to those bereaved it’s more of a question on how to move on.
We hear that question all too often. There’s a false belief that grief is “something to get over.” Well to those bereaved, take comfort in the fact that it’s not!
Grief is a journey, a journey that lasts a lifetime. It’s a true testament to a love held so deeply within our heart and mind. Grief is not something one can decide to erase. The reality is that even decades after a loved one has died, triggers can evoke emotions as intense as when one first began their journey with grief.
That doesn’t mean one can’t move on and be happy again. Recent studies reveal that keeping a loved one close within our heart and mind actually facilitates a healthy grief recovery. Although our loved one may not be physically present, they are very present within us.
When we pretend to have moved on, we stop talking about and stop celebrating the life of someone so dear to us. This often creates resentment and isolation from others. We at HealGrief.org encourage you to speak freely, to celebrate the life you hold so dearly, talk about them too…it’s okay. Whether silently, yet hopefully publicly, remember their birthday, honor their memory and keep them close.
For those bereaved, we suggest not to close a chapter; rather open a new one, taking the love and memories with you.
We wish our community a healthy grief recovery, in that tears of sadness become smiles from memories.
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My only son shot himself in March 2014. My husband and I are coming up on the second anniversary. With the help of therapists we are just now beginning to talk about what happened and the circumstances of what led up to this. I have read books and articles by and about suicide survivors bur there isn’t much out there about what happens to a marriage when a child commits suicide. Parents grieve differently it’s important to keep the doors of communication open.