Letting Grief Out of the Box

Grief is our body’s physiological reaction to a death loss. We can feel grief in the form of pain or unpleasant throbbing in our hearts. We may experience it as sweaty armpits, a rush of heat and agitation in our chests, a lump in the throat, or a cloud over our vision – to name a few. It can happen at any time or place. It does not matter how long ago your person died, either. Most of us believe that grief never entirely goes away and is a constant unveiling that can change and mold us as people as we go through life.

Our five senses can trigger a waterfall of grief at any time. For example, seeing something that reminds us of our person. Sounds, smells and tastes that remind us of our person. Even a similar touch can remind us of them too.

These triggers often occur at the most inconvenient time. However, when they do, grief is trying to get your attention for a reason. Allow yourself to feel. Although most attempt avoidance, unattended grief leaves us vulnerable in other areas of our life.

“On my way to the July 4th BBQ, I passed where my mother was buried. I felt overwhelmed with sadness on such a celebratory day. So I tried to stuff it back down. But, as a result, that whole day, I was snappy and short. It was only later that I realized I needed to deal with my feelings or they would seep into other areas of my life.” 

How to Navigate and Deal with Grief:

One of the best ways is to commit to dealing with it that same day. Driving in your car with the entire family may not be the time to deal with your grief, even though that is when the feelings arise. If you can, try to commit to spending 15 minutes or more with your feelings and perhaps journal later in the day when you are in a safe space. Allowing yourself to write about it can prove to be cathartic. It may help you process the feelings, and you may gain wisdom as well. 

It may not be convenient at the moment. Yet, when you have the time, take 15 minutes to call or text a friend, family member, or therapist. Or schedule a time to speak with a HealGrief Coach. Talking about your experience in a safe environment may help you process your emotions and lessen the impact of future triggers.

It’s so helpful to find a community of other people experiencing grief. The AMF App is one great resource that connects you with others who get it. Talking helps many of our members untangle themselves and feel relief. 

Manage your emotions to relieve stress by activating the triggered sense or other senses in a way that helps emotions to flow. You can put on a song or light a scented candle that triggers a positive emotional response or brings up good thoughts and feelings. By doing this, you are processing the grief and letting it move through and out of you. 

Learn about these and other ways our members heal grief on the AMF App.