“My mom died from pancreatic cancer in 2010. I cried about it a lot and talked about it ad nauseam. I met with a grief counselor. That was helpful. I exercised a lot. I went to the cemetery a lot. I became responsible for caring for my elderly dad. He was a World War Two veteran and didn’t emote much about his feelings, but just pressed on. Observing that approach was somewhat helpful.
The loss of my mom is always in the background and frequently in the foreground. It’s like chronic pain. You get used to it. I never went back to normal. I went back to something different. That time with her in my life seems distant and long ago. I don’t like that feeling. I sometimes get this feeling in which I want to stop doing whatever I’m doing and just stop; remember and reflect.”