“My son, who was 20 years old, was driving home on a really windy road, notorious for accidents. Either an animal went out in front of him or there was a third party; we’ll never know. And he went head on to the opposite lane. Actually, it was driver to driver, and he was killed instantly.
I felt total numbness. At that time, I was taking prescription medications for chronic pain so I just started taking more. I just wanted to numb myself, just get away, get out of my head. And it worked for two years.
I’m still in a bubble, but it takes years. It’s been four years, and how I deal with it…because I’m not ready to deal with it…is pretending like he’s still in boot camp. Because he was in boot camp the year before and got out, so I kind of just play head games with myself that he’s still in the military. Until somebody raises [the issue]. And it’s almost unbearable.”