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Chances are, if you’re grieving from a death loss and you read the title of this article, the idea of “actively moving forward” may seem a million miles away.  Or even more.

“Grief is unbearable.  Then it fades, only to come back at a moment’s notice.  It catches you off guard.  It sends you to bed.  It sends you to dark places until, God willing, you get up and try again” – Maria Shriver

Grief is different for everyone – so if your step forward looks different than someone else you know, that is as it should be.

Things like going to school and going to work after a death may seem impossible.  There are some steps you can take to make the transition more bearable.

Find out your school or company’s bereavement policy.

Does your school or place of work have a bereavement policy?  Ask your human resources department or contact the administration at your school to find out what policies are in place.

The last thing you need is the stress of worrying about taking days off that could affect your job or attendance at school.  It will never seem like enough time.  But do take what time is available to you.

Be clear about what you need.

Speak to your manager, your supervisor, your dean, or teacher about the times that you will need to be away.  The fact is, there are many things that surround death that need to be “handled”.  Affairs, possessions, and other things take time to handle.

If you are comfortable, be clear with coworkers about your boundaries at this time.  Chances are, they will appreciate hearing this from you instead of wondering what “the right thing” is to say or do.

Understand it won’t be easy.

There is no gentle way to put this, but there will be triggers.  The tears will come.  Carry tissues, headache medicine, headphones, whatever might help at the moment.

Above all, give yourself some grace.  You are truly doing the best that you can.  Remember, if you’re looking for free resources or support at this time, you can register for our app here.

 

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