Letting Go and Being Present

Grief makes time feel heavy, like carrying the past on your shoulders while trying to move forward. If someone special to you has died—whether recently or long ago—you know what this feels like. “What ifs,” regrets, and the quiet guilt that whispers, Should more have been done? Should more have been said? All of this adds to this burden of weight.

But what if grief wasn’t meant to be something to carry like a burden? What if it was meant to shape and guide us toward a different way of being in the world?

Many of us live life at full speed for so long—always working, pushing, and taking things seriously. Perhaps our person would want us to slow down, live in the moment, and let go of the weight we carry. The realization is clear: it isn’t enough to just exist while mourning those who have died—it’s important to embrace life with those who are still here fully.

Those who have passed wouldn’t want you to live with guilt or be weighed down by sorrow. Instead, their life—and their death—can serve as a reminder to be present.

The challenge is that letting go doesn’t happen all at once. It can’t be forced, but it can be practiced bit by bit until it becomes part of everyday life.

But how can we do that when the mind is loud, filled with trauma, grief, and endless “what ifs”? Here are a few things to consider:

Rituals for the Living

Instead of focusing on what you could have done differently, shift to: What small rituals can I create to be fully present with the people I love now?

Examples are a slow morning coffee where you sit and enjoy it, a few minutes of play with your kids before the chaos of the day, and a habit of texting a loved one with a memory of your person when they cross your mind.

Anchor Your Mind in the Present

The loudness in your head is real, especially when it’s filled with trauma and regrets. Instead of trying to silence it, try shifting the channel.

Breathwork (even just five deep breaths when the noise gets too loud), movement (yoga, stretching, even dancing), or sensory grounding (running your hands under cold water, standing barefoot on the ground) can pull you back into this moment.

Gratitude Without Pressure

People always say to “practice gratitude,” but it can feel like another task when overwhelmed. Instead, try noticing just one small, beautiful thing each day—a sound, a smell, a moment. Let it be enough.

Create Space for Fun

Your person might have been onto something when they wished you to let go more. Not as a rejection of responsibility but a reminder that joy makes life worth living.

What’s something you used to love doing just for fun? Not for productivity, not for growth—just because? A hobby, a game, an adventure? Find a way to bring it back, even in small ways.

Release the Guilt as an Act of Love

Every time you feel guilt creeping in, ask yourself: Is holding onto this guilt honoring them?

Maybe the best way to honor them is to live fully, laugh more, and make memories with those still here.

Your grief doesn’t mean you failed your person. It means you loved them. And that same love can guide you toward living in a way that brings more presence, appreciation, and life into your days.

You don’t have to have it all figured out. You can just start small. Choose one thing today that feels lighter, freer, and more alive. And then do it again tomorrow.

Join our community on HealGrief’s® AMF App. This app provides 24/7 support and connects you with others who understand your journey. If you’re already a member, we’d love to hear about your experience. The app offers a sanctuary where shared stories and support are always available.

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