We’re still processing, very slowly, what happened and the consequences of it. During this process, important dates arrive for the first time without our person. The first birthday, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, Christmas and New Year’s, and others, but the anniversary of their death can be the hardest…
Some experts suggest that grief follows a timeline of about a year. Yet, at HealGrief®, we disagree. We believe grief doesn’t come with an expiration date; it’s something we may carry with us for life. Although confusion and pain gradually ease, the exact duration remains uncertain.
During that first year…
Most of us are in survival mode, if not still in shock. We may feel we are sleepwalking through life with a diminished response.
Initially, we expect their call and are attentive to the phone just in case or hoping for their return at their usual times. We continue waiting for them to suddenly appear at some point, feeling anxious and in total distress, with a permanent void when nothing happens.
After a while, we stop expecting their call or their return, and instead of diminishing, the pain increases as the reality of their death imposes itself on us. Even though we’ve barely processed what happened, we slowly learn to live in a new reality. Yet, it doesn’t mean we’re done grieving or have accepted the death loss of our person.
We miss their company, their laughter, their presence. We continue to feel pain, fear, anger, and guilt.
Although we may begin to accept the reality and the impact their death has on our lives, their absence touches and impacts everything, down to the minor details, and the emptiness felt may be immense because we not only miss them but also long for them. It hurts intensely.
Then the anniversary arrives.
We continue life with the death loss on our shoulders. We’ve almost resumed everything, and life has a new “normal” again. We do our best and put in a great effort to achieve it. We’re just getting used to and adapting to living without their presence.
Then, significant dates arrive for the first time. The anticipation of their birthday and important days such as Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, Christmas, New Year’s, and others can be tremendously difficult and filled with grief. But the anniversary of their death can be the hardest.
From a couple of weeks or even a month before, we may start reliving the day of their death and remember the days before and also the ones after. The pain returns, splitting us in two, that infinite sadness, that total hopelessness, that immense disillusionment. And we feel like we’ve regressed completely.
In the following days, we start the second year, continuing the path of grief. Yet this time, the experience of grief may have provided us with tools and lessons that open doors to other possibilities. Perhaps we can start to listen more to our hearts, understanding and accepting what we feel and experience. In this way, we begin to move forward actively, embracing grief and all it implies.
Anniversaries and special days may always bear the burden of grief. Yet as the years go by, HealGrief® hopes that tears of sadness turn into smiles as we reminisce over the love we still hold for our person.
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The AMF app isn’t just about sharing pain; it’s about sharing love and learning how to live with love again. It’s about celebrating the lives that touched ours, embracing the lessons they imparted, and carrying their legacies forward. It’s about understanding that healing isn’t a destination but a journey—a journey best traveled hand in hand, supported by a community that understands and uplifts.