“Says Who?“ author, Ora Nadrich shares her personal journey from Grief to Deep Healing and Transformation.
“Losing a loved one is a type of heartbreak that can only be known by those that have experienced loss themselves. It feels like a hole in your heart that can never be filled up again, and you are reminded of its gaping void at all hours of the day and night.
You can suddenly feel as if you now exist as half of a human being, or for some, less than half; maybe just a fraction of themselves is able to function because they too feel as if they could die, and that’s as much as they can muster.
But there is something very valuable that comes from grief, and it is hard to know it when one is in the grips of tremendous sorrow and anguish, and that is a deep healing and transformation that the loss of a loved one leaves us to experience, when we are ready to.
When I lost my beloved sister, Esther last year, my heart felt as if it were breaking into a million pieces, and the sadness I felt was more than I could bear at times. I had experienced loss before with both my father and brother, Daniel, but this felt different, and I wasn’t sure why.
What I realized when I allowed myself to go deeper into my pain, as opposed to trying to quicken the grieving process so that I could be more present for my family and work, was that my sister’s death had given me much to learn from, and it caused me a type of healing that included wisdom and compassion, of which I hadn’t understood in quite the same powerful way until she was gone.
Death and grief can be our greatest teachers, if we allow for it, but we must keep our heart open and available, even when it feels as if it can’t endure one more thing being asked of it. But our heart needn’t do anything other than to feel our pain and heartache, and if we surrender to it as if it were a gift left by a loved one, as opposed to feeling that they caused us suffering in their leaving, then we can let them help us heal by being unafraid to go deeper into our own hearts, and discover even more of who we are, which includes a greater understanding of life, and how it can be best lived without our loved one who has courageously travelled to the “great beyond” before us.
We have a wonderful opportunity to learn from death, and realize that it can help transform us to be better and wiser people because of it. And we must believe that our deceased loved ones would not only want us to heal our hearts from their passing, but also rise from our suffering like a phoenix rises from the ashes, and soar higher than we ever have before.
Our loved one would want nothing more than for us to live our life as fully as we possibly can, and to know that this life is meant for us to realize who we are, and discover what our greatest purpose is. Their death can help shine a light on what we are meant to do, and give us a greater strength and belief in ourselves to go after what we want, but perhaps we’re not ready to do while they were alive.
My sister Esther’s death has gifted me in ways that has helped me feel stronger and less afraid to face things that make me grow and evolve as a human being. She has taught me to be brave and more fearless like she was, and face each day with even more appreciation and gratitude. What would she want for me, I have asked myself many times after her death? She would want me to live my life as authentically as I possibly could, and follow what stirs in my heart and soul. She would also want me to live my dream, and she has helped me do that. She has become my greatest inspiration, along with my husband, and two magnificent boys.
Because of her death, I choose to live each day to its fullest, and when I do something I am proud of, I know that she would even be prouder of me.
Our loved ones are watching over us. They are guiding us like the North Star in the heavens. They want us to continue on without them, even though they never left us. They are in our hearts, and it is there they will always be.”
Grief can be the garden of compassion. If you keep your heart open through everything, your pain can become your greatest ally in your life’s search for love and wisdom. ~ Rumi ~
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