Coping with Grief in College
Are you a college student with someone in your life who is ailing or deceased? Or maybe you have a friend who is coping with grief in college and you are helping them go through this experience? Below we offer some thoughts about some things that may help.
What to expect:
First of all, you will likely feel as though you are the only person on your campus who is coping with illness or death. While few share their experiences with others, you are not alone. Research shows that 35-48% of college students have lost a family member or close friend within the last 2 years.
One student shared that “[He is] searching for others who have struggled with the same feelings; who have, like [him], felt alone in my grief.”
Another student wrote once that “[She] experienced so much emotional, mental, and physical duress from the loss of [her] mother to lung cancer.”
It is very difficult to cope with grief during the college years, because:
-
There is so much academic pressure.
-
You may be away from home for the first time.
-
You may be too far from home to travel to your loved one or family.
-
Developmentally, you are trying to gain autonomy (independence).
-
College is supposed to be the “best four years of your life.”
-
Friends and faculty may be insensitive and tell you to “move on.”
Therefore, the death of someone in your life can result in a decline in academic performance, social anxiety, sleep disturbances, and possible depression. In some cases, serious mental health issues can arise.
What you can do:
-
Share your feelings with a friend or support group members who “understand.” It’s okay to be sad, and you need to be able to talk to someone on campus whom you can trust.
-
If you are a friend of someone grieving, listen to them when they need someone to talk to. Let them know that you are there anytime they need to talk, and remember that grief lasts much longer than most people who haven’t experienced grief would expect. You don’t have to “fix” anything for them; you just need to be there.
-
If you are interested in talking with a professional counselor, then try it and see what it’s like.
-
Participate in a walk or fundraiser to honor your ill or deceased person with a couple of friends through AMF’s service group. Fundraisers help me to feel like you’re doing something positive.
-
Go home when you want to (if you can). If you feel like going home to see your family, you should. But if you want some space at school, which is normal, then stay on campus.
-
Make sure your professors know at the beginning of the semester what you are going through, no surprises.
