Tips for College Students
Tips for Grieving College Students
Many people have heard of the five stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance). It was once believed that once someone went through these “stages,” they would be through with the grieving process. We have now learned that grief is not a process to “get over,” but rather a unique journey with a mixture of emotions and reactions. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but there are some healthy and unhealthy coping strategies. Please continue reading for some tips on healthy ways to continue your grief journey.
Tips for college students grieving
- Talk about your person/people who are ill or who have died, with friends, family, and professionals.
- Grief is truly a journey, requiring time and energy. It is a unique process, and it doesn’t have a fixed duration.
- Pace yourself. Grief can be challenging and tiring. It takes a lot of energy to feel so intensely. Allow yourself plenty of time to do simple activities. Try not to over-schedule yourself. You don’t need the added stress. Rest when you can and need to; it’s not a sign of weakness.
- Try to resist the temptation to “throw yourself” into work, school, or other diversions. Doing so will leave too little time for your active grief journey.
- Take care of yourself. Give yourself time and space to begin your grief journey. Get enough rest. Eat healthy food. Give yourself a break.
- Resist the temptation to use alcohol or drugs. These can interfere with the grieving process or cover it up, or extend it – not take it away.
- If you are religious, consider contacting your place of worship and using the services offered.
- Talk to others who have experienced the death of a loved one. People who have been through grief can empathize with and help support you, and vice versa.
- Your grief process is an individual experience. Some people like to talk about their experience while others prefer to grieve by “doing” something – and some of us want to do both! Do what feels right for you.
- Express your grief. The best way to work with your grief is to let it out. So how do you let out your emotions? Do you: Cry, scream, and yell? Do you express your feelings through music, art, poetry, or journaling? Some express themselves to only one or a few trusted people, while others choose to make a display of expression. Do what feels right for you.
- Focus on your health, work out. Grief can be great stress on your body and mind. It can upset sleep patterns, lead to depressive symptoms, weaken your immune system, and highlight medical problems. See your doctor if you are worried about your symptoms.
- Consider talking with a mental health professional if you feel overwhelmed, hopeless, or helpless. Seek professional help if you have suicidal thoughts. Grief therapy doesn’t have to be long-term. Even if you don’t see yourself as the kind of person who would go to therapy, it may be beneficial to talk with someone.
- Grief tends to go at its own pace, so allow yourself time to grieve. There is no right way and no time limit!
- Be patient. There may be days where you feel great, but there may also be setbacks. Don’t expect to “get over it” or have a deadline for your grief in mind.
- Different experiences in life may act as reminders and can trigger emotions – both physical and emotional. These emotions are not a sign of weakness. Instead, your mind and body are reminding you of your feelings for your person.
- Create ways of remembering your person. Celebrate their life in whatever way feels right to you. Try supporting a cause they believed in, start a scholarship, plant a garden, make a donation in their name, etc.
- Have a little fun. Do something to make you laugh and smile. Many may find this difficult to do at first, but it is an excellent medicine for the grieving soul.
Please know that the AMF’s National Network is always here to support grieving young adults. You are important to us, and we want you to know that you are never alone. We don’t expect you to “get over” your grief, but we would love to help you actively move forward in your grief journey! That’s why we created a community of young adults connected, heard, and understood by others going through a similar grief experience. Learn more, don’t wait. Join the AMF App today!
Breaking the Cycle!
Have you ever noticed how sometimes your grief journey can either cause more stress or exacerbate the stress you already have? Grief is an unknown journey. Life, as we knew it, has changed. We will likely face additional obstacles. It’s easy to get lost and overwhelmed by the crazy mixture of stress and grief during this time.
Below, we provide tips to help you manage or rethink tasks that may have been easier before your person’s/people’s death. Let’s see if these tips can help get you feeling better about some of these things!
Here are some tips that may help you rethink some old habits …
Exercise: Are you stressed about schoolwork or work from your job? Research shows that exercise can help you retain information. Exercise has many other benefits, such as naturally boosting endorphins, releasing stress stored in our bodies, and keeping us feeling good. Please be advised that over-exercising is not a healthy way to deal with stress – there is a happy medium for everything.
Prioritize: Is your to-do list getting pretty long? That’s a real stressor! Find a system that works for you to prioritize your responsibilities and tasks. Maybe you like to color-code, write them in order, or space things out in your planner for designated days. When we have smaller and more manageable lists, our stress can go down while our confidence rises!
Balanced Diet: Do you find yourself overeating? Do you find yourself undereating? Food is essential to both our bodies and our minds. It can be easy to eat convenient foods, but we see more overall benefits when we fill ourselves with a healthy, balanced diet. You might see improvements in mood, body functions, immune function, brain function, and much more.
Practice compassion: As a society, we strive to be the best, the fastest, and to achieve as much as we can in as little time as possible. What happens if we don’t meet our goals or the goals others set for us? It can be beneficial for our stress levels and our self-esteem to learn to appreciate our accomplishments and ourselves. When we learn to love and appreciate ourselves, we can become happier and healthier. No one is perfect, so please don’t expect perfection. Try this mantra, “I am enough; I do enough.” Smile, believe it, and be kind to yourself!
Reduce or eliminate alcohol and avoid illegal drugs: Does partying or using drugs and alcohol help you cope? Some might think this is an excellent way to get rid of your problems, but the reality is that they remain when the substances are gone. Researchers have also found that these substances can delay your grief journey. Our world is very focused on these “outlets,” and we can easily forget the comfort of good company and other great activities available to us. Try something new with your friends – go on Groupon to find additional tips on some new, fun, cheap activities!
Be an individual: Have you been reading books and articles on grief lately? Sometimes they can be beneficial, while other times they may make us think there is a right or wrong way to do this “grieving thing.” Be advised: This “grief thing” is a very individualized journey. Take all the books and articles as useful information, tips, and suggestions, but always do what feels right for you.
Get inspired: Do you feel like you may have lost a spark of passion? Reclaim that spark by reintroducing yourself to whatever your passion is! It may be a great cause, a fun hobby, or maybe starting a chapter of Students of AMF on your campus. Perhaps you want to find a new way to memorialize your loved one who died. Find something that makes you feel great and motivates you to be the best “you” you can be.
Need a time-out? Were you ever put on a time-out as a kid? The purpose of a time-out is to remove the child from whatever situation is causing them to act out, so they can collect themselves and make better choices. Doesn’t that sound like a good idea for adults, too? Take some time for yourself when you see that your anxiety, anger, frustration, stress, etc. are rising. “Time-outs” can be watching a favorite TV show, taking a walk, or even going on a little road trip! Take a break from your stress and enjoy this wonderful life.
Pace yourself: Do you feel as though life can get away from you sometimes? In this fast-paced world, it can be easy to get swept up in it all. We want instant results! But your grief journey is not going to be instantly resolved, even if you try to race through it. Grief takes its time, and so should you. Pace yourself and your expectations of change. Things will be different, but as you continue on your journey, you will see change!
Talk to someone: Have you ever tried to keep something in and noticed how it affected you? Could you take a minute to think about it? Talking about things can be very cathartic. You can choose if that person will be a family member, a friend, a professional, etc. Sometimes just speaking with others about what’s on our minds can shed light on a situation and help sort things out. Turning to a trusted individual is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of strength.